This story is continued from my last post, The Trauma of a Difficult Birth.
I stayed in hospital for four days after Thomas was born. Much of it was a blur, I was tired and ill. I remember the feelings of joy, pride and disbelief mixed in with the fear and pain. I couldn’t believe my beautiful baby was finally here, he was all mine and I was responsible for looking after him. People talk about the intense you feel for your baby instantly, nothing could have prepared me for the intensity of love I felt surge through my body.
In this post I open up about the trauma of a difficult birth. If you are squeamish it probably isn’t one for you…
I had a wonderful pregnancy; very little morning sickness and I didn’t put much extra weight on. The only thing I struggled with was pelvic pains towards the end as my bump was so huge and swollen feet and ankles (or cankles!). People commented on how I was glowing and I did feel on top of the world for most of it. It really is a miracle to feel your baby growing inside you.
Here it is again… guilt.
I feel so guilty leaving my baby this morning that I want to cry. My nearly two year old is going through a very clingy “Mamma” phase at the moment, it’s sweet and makes me feel very loved but it also makes it so difficult to leave him to go to work.